Civility in Our Debate?

Last night's CNN-You Tube Debate was a parody of its promise. Not since the SNL version of the Bush-Dukakis debate has so much political absurdity occurred on a presidential debate platform. Don't get me wrong. I think we - the small percentage of Americans who pay attention to the issues and vote every two years - are very noble for trying to think up creative ways to get all the others to give a damn about our country's direction before we slide irretrievably into a Sodom and Gomorrah like state. Yay us! But does that mean we need to lose all respectability and decorum in the process? Certainly our current president has shown an abject disregard for all societal conventions, but that hardly bolsters the case for more of such behavior. Now, I also understand that CNN is desperately looking for ways to dominate Fox News in the ratings, but reaching for the lowest common denominator of snowmen asking the candidates questions crosses some kind of line that frankly makes me uncomfortable. The candidates took it all in stride yesterday and feigned laughter as necessary. But I wish one of them would have said what had to be on all of their minds: If we want a serious president this time and not a coked-up frat boy, why are we subjecting our candidates to such a moronic event?

Houston, we have a problem...

Sunday was much like most Sundays and therefore included a trip to the Home Despot. The Despot is what I would imagine my big box retailer would look like if I just decided to open one tomorrow - all sorts of random crap strewn about in no particular order and stacked to the ceiling. Most of the time, I feel like I have a better chance of finding the Ark of the Covenant in that mess than replacement bulbs for my kitchen (today's assignment). But the focus of today's rant did not become apparent until I made it to the checkout line. Now, last time I was there, I got behind a check-payer, which is a rant for another day. But today, I went to war with the automated checkout. My basic thesis is this: the technology is not ready, so why the hell did they roll these things out? You can scan and stack your stuff to the right, but it only "senses" that you put the stuff there half the time. And then that attendent - who was too dumb to even get the Express Lane gig - takes out his or her frustration on you because they think they finally found someone dumber than themselves. These folks tell you to repeatedly lift up and set down the item until the screen clears. Of course, this is the supermarket equivalent of the IT guy telling you to restart your computer. But much like the IT guy, these guys will be fully replaced by machines or outsourced to Mumbai soon, so I guess I should be charitable.

Home Sweet Home

This link is from my wife and I think mainly is directed at my mother-in-law who is still highly skeptical of any state admitted to the union after 1800.

New York Times Strikes Again!

The boys at the NYT L-O-V-E pictures like this. They are determined to have us save the earth if for no other reason than it's so damn cute! Bravo gentlemen.

Suburban Sasquatch

My friend Jeff says that I am the "Suburban Sasquatch" because he rarely has sightings of me and most still believe my presence in California is a myth. But this is not the worst reaction you could get from your high school friends after more than a decade of neglect. Like the famed Yeti, I too am a bit startled by the world that has gone on without me and seek to avoid contact with most humans. But no one said going from DC to the OC would be easy. But on the flip side, I've never had a healthier looking lawn.

What is worse?

Is it worse to be writing work related e-mails over the weekend or reading them? If e-mails are a flame, then I am the moth (coo-coo-ka-choo). Writing them is definitely worse. Actually, Alberto Gonzales and the NSA reading them is probably worse than either.

Big Harry Deal

If anyone ever deserved a swift ass-kicking, it's these kids who go ape shit for Harry Potter. Yet parents are willing to consign these children to a lifetime in nerdom because "at least they are reading." This is probably also what German parents said when all the kids came home with Mein Kampf. Of course, the main reason I'm pissed is because having these kids around the school yard 25 years ago would have saved me several years of playing Piggy in our impromptu schoolyard reenactments of Lord of the Flies.

The journey of a thousand miles...

When I was a kid, more than one seemingly wise adult told me that "the journey of a thousand miles begins with a single footstep," which I guess is true unless you are confined to a wheelchair or one of those Rascal machines. Anyhow, this sage bit of wisdom came back to me like some kind of mental cud as I stumbled onto Blog Spot and decided to finally give in to my wife - as I do in most instances - and put my daily musings into blog form. My sense is that she is tired of hearing my "theories" after nearly four years of marriage and as an attorney, sees the blog as a Exhibit A in an eventual divorce proceeding. Nonetheless, with blatant disregard to the consequences, I may share my thoughts with the internets in this space, if for no other reason than to torment an institution that has brought me such stress causing manifestations as e-mail, Zillow (where I can watch my house depreciate in real-time), and the super-empowerment of 20-year olds. This blog starts as I move back to California, where I grew up, after 16 years of hard living inside the so-called Beltway, where laws get made and stuff. But more on that later...