Suburban Sasquatch

My friend Jeff says that I am the "Suburban Sasquatch" because he rarely has sightings of me and most still believe my presence in California is a myth. But this is not the worst reaction you could get from your high school friends after more than a decade of neglect. Like the famed Yeti, I too am a bit startled by the world that has gone on without me and seek to avoid contact with most humans. But no one said going from DC to the OC would be easy. But on the flip side, I've never had a healthier looking lawn.